Another brilliant post - I can relate to so much of this. Before I realised I'm AuDHD I thought that this response was down to the abusive relationship I endured, but now I realise it was there long before. I'm trying hard to at least catch myself before I apologize for everything, and even that is slowly making a difference mentally. I have a long way to go, but on the right path.
Sounds like incredible progress Alys. I hear you with the slowing down before apologising — I started saying “thank you” instead of sorry.. I don’t always remember to do it as old habits die hard.. but in general that slight reframe has really helped me practice more empowered relating :)
Thanks again for sharing your own experience here it definitely helps me (and others I’m sure!) feel less alone in it. Big love to you! 💞
Loved this! Fawning was a survival mechanism that kept me safe in a volatile household growing up; coming to terms with how toxic the behaviour can be for my own well-being was such an eye opener and you've captured it so well here; especially within the context of coercive non-monogamy. We surrender ourselves for the sake of peace - but its never a peace of our own.
Ooof yes Briony thank you so much for sharing this! "We surrender ourselves for the sake of peace - but its never a peace of our own." I love that so much. I really feel it. and can relate so deeply to what you shared about fawning as a survival response in a volatile household. I didn’t name it in this piece, but that was part of my early life too — and it absolutely shaped the pattern. It’s wild how deeply wired it becomes when it starts that young. Then just repeats and repeats!
And go us for waking up to it... for being able to see it, name it, and do the slow, messy work of choosing something different. That kind of self-awareness is no small thing!!
Really grateful you shared this — it helps me feel less alone in it too. Big love x
Its crazy right! Especially for us ND folk who are more likely to face coercion, abuse and violence - I'm proud every day for the progress I've made and im excited every day for what comes next and I hope you feel pride in your progress too - sooo much love to you ♥️
Beautiful and Powerful — Thank you, Nicole 🙏🏼
So glad it resonated, Brian. Thanks for sharing 😌💞🙏🏼
Happy to share good ideas with the masses. Too much misleading info out there and people desperately needing clarity.
Another brilliant post - I can relate to so much of this. Before I realised I'm AuDHD I thought that this response was down to the abusive relationship I endured, but now I realise it was there long before. I'm trying hard to at least catch myself before I apologize for everything, and even that is slowly making a difference mentally. I have a long way to go, but on the right path.
Sounds like incredible progress Alys. I hear you with the slowing down before apologising — I started saying “thank you” instead of sorry.. I don’t always remember to do it as old habits die hard.. but in general that slight reframe has really helped me practice more empowered relating :)
Thanks again for sharing your own experience here it definitely helps me (and others I’m sure!) feel less alone in it. Big love to you! 💞
Loved this! Fawning was a survival mechanism that kept me safe in a volatile household growing up; coming to terms with how toxic the behaviour can be for my own well-being was such an eye opener and you've captured it so well here; especially within the context of coercive non-monogamy. We surrender ourselves for the sake of peace - but its never a peace of our own.
Ooof yes Briony thank you so much for sharing this! "We surrender ourselves for the sake of peace - but its never a peace of our own." I love that so much. I really feel it. and can relate so deeply to what you shared about fawning as a survival response in a volatile household. I didn’t name it in this piece, but that was part of my early life too — and it absolutely shaped the pattern. It’s wild how deeply wired it becomes when it starts that young. Then just repeats and repeats!
And go us for waking up to it... for being able to see it, name it, and do the slow, messy work of choosing something different. That kind of self-awareness is no small thing!!
Really grateful you shared this — it helps me feel less alone in it too. Big love x
Its crazy right! Especially for us ND folk who are more likely to face coercion, abuse and violence - I'm proud every day for the progress I've made and im excited every day for what comes next and I hope you feel pride in your progress too - sooo much love to you ♥️
Aww thanks love 🥰 feels good to celebrate with you! Xx